It has been too long since my last post. I know, a recurring theme. Seems the day turns to weeks, weeks turn to months faster than I can keep up. So clearly this is over due and over the course of the last 10 months there have been several topics that I knew would be perfect but that evaporated into the thin air. Hard to believe it has been 10 months and thinking about what you have already become. You are still that amazing little girl that brightens my day. I know that is cheesy but it is the truth.  It leaves me speechless sitting here thinking of you and the feeling I get when I come home and hear you heavy little feet running to the back door. You run to my arms with this huge smile, arms stretched out front. Some times you actually collapse on the floor laughing, waiting for me to tickle you. You’re two now and beginning to say several phrases and I would have to say my favorites are ‘I wove you’ and ‘I miss you.’ Talk about opening the flood gates of emotion every time I hear those words from you. Yes, Yes, I know, by the time you read this you’ll think it is silly and I am just being a dad, but I am telling you this Ava so that you know how much happiness you have brought into my life.

You are such a sweet little girl, well mannered, kind, eager to please and most importantly loving. You blindly love me, not even knowing my faults and the many mistakes I have made in my 35 years. You don’t hold a grudge, yet without even know it, you hold me accountable for the things I say and do. You love me unconditionally and you taught me what that really means. It is challenge to come up with the words that communicate what that feeling is like  and how to explain the impact you have already had on me. I spend a lot of time away from you, but know that you are never far from my thoughts. What you are doing, what you are learning, what you are dreaming, are you asking about me, do you miss me, the joy of your laughter and the sadness of hearing you cry.

It’s funny, as I sit here and write these for you, I think of us sitting down some where having ice cream, or sharing a burger, or taking a road trip and just talking. Talking about you and how you were when you were younger and how it was when you were growing up. I hope by the time  you look back and read this, you recall what a joy it was to have your mom and I as your parents and how much we loved you. How much we wanted you to have a great childhood and how many people you had around you that share so many laughs with you.

One of the people that you will inevitability share many laughs with is your brother. I would say little but writing this even now he is not that much littler than you. Perhaps that is what has taken up some of the time that I would find to write this for you. He is five months at this point and you are already telling him what is yours, never mind that he has no interest in it. Humorous to watch the two of you in the morning across from each other, and this is only the beginning. You two will share a lot over the course of both of your lifetimes; experiences, colds, vacations, toys, French fries, hugs from your mom and I, the couch on a Friday night, chores, memories, and so much more. You may not always share the same last name, but nothing will never change the DNA that you both share. There will be times that you can’t stand the site of each other but I hope that the both of you will never allow anything to drive a wedge between the two of you. Love your brother, look out for him, be patient, protect him, hug him, talk with him, share his interest, support him, share his defeat. When the time comes when your mom and I can’t be there, pick him up and tell him that it will all be ok. Don’t worry, I will be telling him this when the time comes to reciprocate this to you as well. Why do I tell you this, because you will need each other. When what seems like the end of it all, you need family and if you both listen to me, you’ll be comforted by each other and you’ll both know that despite it all, it will be ok. There will be few people in your life that will be able to do this and do it without expecting anything in return. Family.

I am eagerly awaiting the arrival of each day to see the two of you grow up together. I have spent a lot of time over the last 10 month behind a windshield and I think I just about have every weekend planned out from the time you both can walk and talk, til the time you’re, oh I don’t know, 36. It will be fun. And in between the fun times, there will be challenges, but you manage those challenges with the people that you love and love you.

I am sorry that it took me so long to get this one down on digital paper, I plan to do better, to find the time to put these thoughts together so that you’ll always know……

I love you Ava.