When I first began this post you were just about two weeks old. As I am coming back to finish it you are almost three. Clearly the minutes have been devoured by tasks and obligations. Looking back, so much has happened in the last three weeks and to begin, the fact that you are here is truly a miracle. God’s blessing is what brought you into your mom and I’s life and we are so thankful for that blessing. The process God put in place for how life begins is awe inspiring and having a front row seat for how you enter the world has left me searching for words that are appropriate and that adequately communicates the complexity of the emotions that are experienced when bringing a living, breathing, 7 pound 14 ounce human being into the world. I initially thought this post would be used to express a lesson but I think at this point in time it would be good to just type a few words that sum up the last three weeks.

In life there are many events that we all experience and those events collectively help us relate to one another as a race. So over the course of the last several years I have heard countless people tell me that witnessing the birth of your own child is one of the most amazing thing you will ever see. After being in the same room with the person you have chosen to spend the rest of your life with and mutually agreed to share experiences that dramatically impact each of your lives, witnessing your first born is something that few events can even compare to. Being there, next to your mom as she cried through the pain yet staying focused through each contraction, was a side that I had never seen. Watching her demonstrate such determination and will to bring you into this world was deeply emotional and something that she and I will forget. It was moments of laughter, tears, pain, and endless amounts of love.  In those moments that led into hours, our relationship had reach a level I had never expected in a place that I never anticipated. We found a different type of respect and belonging to one another because we knew that neither one of us could have done it with out the other, nor would we have wanted to.

Seeing your first born for the first time, leaves you speechless, which can be awkward since you feel like you should be saying something, yet nothing comes to mind to describe it. You were beautiful from the moment you were born, and this is not just because your dad says so but the mere fact that everyone who came by to see you had the same reaction when their eyes caught a glimpse of you. Nurses, doctors, friends and family, loved ones and people that would only see you for a few moments out of their entire life who had obligation to be complimentary. As you get older it will be important for you to remember that you are a beautiful girl, that shouldn’t need confirmation from anyone other than yourself. Of course your mom and I and those that love  you will always be here to tell you that you are, there will be times that you doubt it or that you think we are just saying it to make you feel better for some reason. But as you read this 12-15 years from now, you’ll come to realize that is not the case, it is because you truly are.

I had this feeling that I was so proud of you and the little girl that you would become, and the woman you would grow into, as if God gave me a little insight into the future. Hard to explain, I know. Holding you for the first time was something I saved just for you. As your mom will confirm, I don’t hold newborns, sure, partly because they seem fragile, but also because I wanted to save that for just the two of us. To share a moment and a first for both of us was something I will always think about.

It has certainly been an adjustment with a third person being in the house. Someone to look after, someone that needs your attention and while you can’t verbally communicate it, someone that needs you to be there for them. Your mom and I have a limited amount of time on this earth and of that time, a limited amount that  you will be dependent on us for everything. We are so happy to be your provider, to help satisfy all your basic needs and watch you grow. We’ll be balancing many things, sometimes all at once, but we want you to know that you are our first priority. We have worked well over the last several weeks to make sure you have what you need and that you are happy and healthy. You won’t always be happy with us but in the end, I think  you’ll look back and know that we loved you by the way we cared for you.

It is unbelievable that we are already three weeks into your life and the changes that we have seen in you. You are eating more, sleeping a bit less, crying louder, and moving more. Your hair is thinning a bit but your eyes are slowly changing colors. I am excited that you are here and excited to share so much with you. You are a special baby and a special person, your my daughter. Welcome home, welcome to life.